Inspired by the Halloween Spooktacular episode of the podcast, Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids, I went digging around for my own childhood stories. I wrote A LOT of them, and they were always super dark. This is what I found – typed out below, and complete with all the original spelling mistakes and bad punctuation. I had a really good laugh; I hope you do too.

Enjoy this sneak peek into my VERY STRANGE kid-brain, with a story about Laura, who only wants to trick-or-treat – even if her friend has just been kidnapped, because, as I wrote: “candy can’t cheer you up but it sure does taste good!”

Disclaimers: The story isn’t dated, but based on a lot of context clues, I place it around 1998-ish; I would have been 10 or 11. Sadly, this story is incomplete and I don’t know if it’s because the pages are missing, or if I’ve just always had a bad habit of not finishing my “novels.”

Untitled, Unfinished Halloween Story, Circa 1998-99

“Oh come on mom, halloween’s in a day. and you still didn’t get me a costume!” “I think you’re too old for trick-or-treating.” “Shut-up Lara!”

I hate my big sister, she’s like this little insect, you know, those the ones that annoy you so much. You sweep them away, but some how it comes back.

My mom is always gone. She has to go on alot of business trips. That means Lara – has to watch me.

My father died in a car accident on his way home from [illegible] Christmas shopping when I was four. It’s been 7 years and I still think about it from time from to time.

“Don’t say shut-up hissed my mom. “Bye sweetie” “Bye mom” “Bye Lara.” “But mom, what about my.” Just ten the door slammed shut. “Costume,” I whispered. Lara began to laugh.

“Ben, over here!” “Lara, what are you doing?” “If you don’t like it, keep stepping.” I didn’t like walking alone but if Ben was coming, I would make an exception.

“Fine!” I said. I started to walk away. I was nervouse but I just kept walking.

When arrived at school I found my best friend, Tracy, laughing her heart out. She was pointing to our other friend, Maria, who was on the ground looking very upset. I walked up to them and announced my self by saying – “Hey Trace, take a second to breathe.” I looked at Maria, “What happened?” “Well,” started Maria. Just then Tracy cut in “She tripped on her own big foot!” “Excuse me but according to my calculations youre feet are bigger than mine. At that moment Tracy stopped laughing. “Hey!” She shouted.

“Good morning Laura, may I see your homework. I looked up. “Oh, good morning Mr. Brown. Here you go.” I passed Mr. Brown my home-work. Mr. Brown skimed my page.

“Check number four,” said Mr. Brown as he laid it back on my desk. Hmm, I thought that was the only one I got right!

“Finally, I thought the day would never end!”

I wanted to walk home with Maria and Tracy, but they got into a fist fight and now they have to stay after school. I decided to ask Mindy if she would like to walk with me. She answered with a simple – okay.

On the way walking home I heard weeping from behind me. Then my name. I turned around. “Tracy, what happened?” “A man, car, oh god” All these words came out of Tracy’s mouth. She didn’t know what she was talking about, she was confused.

Mindy left and I took Tracy home. “Lara!, I’m home!” Lara came racing downstairs with tears in her eyes. “Laura I was so worried. I called the school to make sure you got there safetly. The principal said you hadn’t arrived.” “That’s because I hid from her every time I saw her,” I explained. Lara hugged me and sent me upstairs to do my homework.

About five minutes later there was a knock at the door. I wanted to call Tracy, but I loved answering the door. Since Lara obviously was not going to answer the door, I decided to. I raced downstairs. “Who is it?” I asked from the inside of the house. “Take a lucky guess,” answered the voice. There was no dought about it, that voice was property of Lorraine Timberlake, also known as my mom. “Mommy!” I hollard with excitement. I opened the door just as Lara came rushing in. Mom was standing the doorway. She was holding three Bloomingdales bags, One bag from Halloween H-2.0, the store, and two bags from Princess. “Gee, Princess is a pretty expensive jewlery store.” I thought to myself. “Mom!” shouted Lara. “Hi seeties, got you some stuff.” replied mom. We all went into the living to see our gifts. “Mom, you’re home so early!” I said as I took a seat on the floor. “Yes, well the boss told me I was overworking myself.” “You were.” I interrupted. Mom gave me a sharp look, then she continued. “So he told me too take the rest of the week off, starting right away.” “Can we see our gifts now?” Asked Lara. “Sure.” replied mom. Mom passed Lara a Bloomingdales bag first. Lara grabed the bag as if she never got a gift before. Lara grabed pulled a shoebox out of the bag. Inside were a pair of black leather boots with a gold buckle. “Thanks, I love them!” shouted Lara. Next. mom passed me a bloomingdales bag. I pulled out a pair of silver and gold pants. “Wow,” I said “You’re the best mom. Then Lara got was passed a princess bag. Inside was the most beautiful necklace. It was gold with silver diamonds. “I can’t thank you enough!” said Lara while mom put it on her. Then, finally, I was passed the halloween bag. Now I was the one grabbing it like I never saw got a gift before! I pulle out of the bag everything I needed to be El-Vira! I jumped up and hugged my mom”Thank you, I love you.” I screamed. I raced upstairs to try it on when remembered Tracy. I laid my costume on the bed and picked up the phone. 466-3697 I dialed.

“Hi is Tracy there?,… “Oh, well, can I come over?… Okay bye.”

I ran downstairs and grabed my coat. “Mom, I’m going to Tracy’s!” I hollard as I rushed out the front door.

When I arrived at Tracy’s house her mom said she had locked herself in the bathroom with a phone book. I went upstairs, to the bathroom. “Tracy” I whispered. Just then Tracy did something to the door. I figured she unlocked it so I tried to open it. Sure enough it opened. I stepped in. Tracy’s eyes were full of tears, her nose was red, their was kleenex all over and their was a phone book on her lap. “What’s wrong Trace,” I asked. “Close the door” replied tracy. I shut the door and sat down on the edge of the bath tub. “What happened!” I asked. “Maria and I talked it over after school, in the office. We became friends again and decided to walk home together. While we were walking home, a car slowed down. He pulled us into the car. I yelled super loud and he through me out and drove off with Maria.” Tears began to race down Tracy’s cheeks. “No, No!” I shouted in denial. “You’re lying!” I continued. Now tears were rolling down my cheeks. “Okay.” I said. I took a deep breath and said “Call the Police!” “I don’t know the number. I’ll call 4-11. “Tracy!” I snapped as I quickly snatched the phone from her hand. I slowly dialed 9-1-1. I began to think of all the good times the three of us shared together. I remembered the time when we had a sleepover at my house and Maria spilt juice on my grandmothers carpet. I laughed so hard that I accidently knocked over Tracy’s juice, then she perpasly knocked mine over. My grandmother was so mad she made us do the laudry. And the time when Tracy and I squeezed onto a swing together. Maria pushed us so high we both went flying off. We chased Maria all the way home.

Hello, oh hi… I’m calling due to a kidnapping.

That night I was awakened bye a terrible dream. I sat up and took a sip of water from my night table – beside my bed. I began to think of all the things that had happened throughout the day. Would I ever see Maria again, Would I ever be able top laugh with her again. All these questions skimed across my brain. I let out a yawn. I layed my head down and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I awoke to the sound of sirens outside. I stood up and grabed my housecoat. I walked across the room and out my window. Police cars, police, they werre every where! Maria’s search was on!

I raced downstairs. “Mommy, Mommy!, Thier going to find Maria, They’re really going to find her!” I shouted. “Let’s keep our fingers crossed.” replied Mother. I slipped on my slippers and went outside. There I met up spotted Tracy. She was talking to a Police officer. When they were through, all the Policemen got into thier cars, (and vans) and headed for the next street. Tracy and I were talking when mom stuck her head out the window and called me in for breakfast. “Bye” I said as I trudged into my house.

After breakfast I peered out the window. not a soul in sight. Only photos of maria pins to poles fluttering in the wind. Maybe they wouldn’t find Maria.

It was already 4:00pm. I wanted to make sure every thing was ready for trick-or-treating! As dad use to say, candy can’t cheer you up but it sure does taste good! I bolted upstairs to see if Lara was ready to take me trick-or-treating. When I arrived in Lara’s room she was on the phone. I tugged at her sleeve and she signaled me to wait a minute. I sat impatiently at the edge of Lara’s bed. The second Lara had said goodbye I began to talking. But it wasn’t long before I was talking to myself. Obviously, something said on the phone excited Lara because she leaped to her feet and bolted out of the room. “Lara!” I shouted after her. I ran downstairs to see what all the exciment was about. When I reached the living room, mom was agreeing to whatever Lara had asked her. “What’s going on?” I asked. “I’m going to a halloween party tonight!” answered Lara excidetly. “Aren’t you taking me trick-or-treating?” I questioned her. “Come on Laura, you walked to school by your self, I’m sure you can walk around the block and ask for candy.” “Fine!” I hollard as I stormed out of the room.

[Adult input: WTF?! There’s a kidnapper out there!]

Once I was in my costume I checked the time. The clock read 6:30. It was time to head out. I said my good-byes and scuried out the back door. Outside I met up with Tracy, who was dressed up as a witch.

After 22 houses I was just about ready to stop. But of course Tracy, the candy freak she is, dragged me to one last house. It wasn’t dressed up but there was a “Happy Halloween!” sign. We rang the doorbell. At first there scilence but than a man hollard to get the door. The door knob began to turn, then, slowly, the door opened. There stood a teary eyed Maria! I was so surprised that I doubted it at first! “Maria are you alright, did he hurt you, is he slaving you, what’s going on?” I questioned her in a whisper. Tracy was so shocked I don’t think even a “squeak” could come out her mouth. “No, he didn’t hurt me, yes, he’s slaving me, and I don’t know what’s going on or why he’s holding me hostage. Tracy and I gazed at eachother. “What time does he go to sleep?” Tracy asked. “About twelve, and nothing could wake him up.” “Perfect, be ready and packed by 2:00 am. Were gon’na bust you out of here!” Replied Tracy. “Okay, but you guys should go now.” agreed Maria shoving us out.

That night I soundlessly trudged down the stairs and out the door. Tracy was already standing peacefully on my porch waiting.

We calmly walked along the congcrete sidewalk, not a word leaving our lips. When we arrived Maria’s light was on. She didn’t hear us hollaring for her. So I suggested we climb the gate just high enogh to jump to the window.

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That’s it! That’s the last page I have! 😦

Sorry for the cliff-hanger… and the random bit about child slavery!

Thanks for joining me for this incredibly fun trip down Halloween-Memory lane.

Happy Halloween – and remember, candy can’t cheer you up but it sure does taste good!